A Rogue Walks into a Ball Page 9

  “Isn’t forgiveness supposed to be freely given if it’s to mean anything at all?” he asked.

  “If you really are as abject as you say about your boorish behavior at that ball—”

  “I’ve always maintained that I am.”

  “Then you ought to demonstrate your regret.”

  “Oh?” he said dryly. “And how might I do this?”

  She strove for the most casual possible tone. “You might do me a favor.”

  His eyebrows crept up. “A favor. I confess, Miss Porter, that I would not have dreamed of a moment when you might ask a favor of a reprobate such as myself.”

  She almost laughed, his tone was so dry. “You might serve as an example.”

  He leaned back against the base of the statue of Diana behind him and crossed his arms. “Now this is getting interesting. An example of what, pray tell?”

  “Well, my intention in making Miss Smith aware of the fact that some—not all, of course, but some—gentlemen use charm on unsuspecting or innocent ladies to great effect was that she might not be taken in. My efforts were perhaps a little too strong.”

  “Do you think?”

  She ignored his sarcasm. “But you will agree that I was not wrong that some men really are to be avoided.”

  A pause. “I agree,” he said in a clipped voice.

  “But the unfortunate thing for a young woman such as my cousin, who has been so carefully protected, is that she’s never had a chance to practice with gentlemen.”

  “Practice?” he said in a wary voice.

  She nodded. “Annabelle might, I’m afraid, be easily taken in by a few compliments and adoring glances. What she needs is to gain a little experience in what it would feel like to have a man pay court to her.”

  His eyes narrowed. “And what role do you propose I play in this ‘practice’?”

  “You could act an example to my cousin of the sort of man she must avoid,” Sarah said, ignoring what sounded like a whispered curse. “Once word gets around that she has a substantial dowry and that she’s very shy, she will make an easy subject for any greedy gentleman who sees her as a fruit just right for the plucking. You could offer a controlled exposure to the sorts of behavior she must learn not to be taken in by.”

  “And just how am I supposed to do that?” he asked through what sounded like gritted teeth.

  She nodded thoughtfully, as though he’d just made a reply to a reasonable proposal. “It would have to be handled carefully, with her full knowledge.” She paused, trying to gauge his reaction to what she was saying.

  “Oh, please,” he said sardonically, waving a hand in an encouraging motion, “do go on.”

  “I would explain to her that you have agreed to demonstrate the sorts of charms men might employ in pursuit of women, so that she might then feel comfortable, having gained some experience and a way of determining when men are sincere. That knowledge will give her confidence, and when she meets an eligible gentleman, she’ll be able to speak and not just stand there blinking.”

  When Miss Porter stopped speaking and the full lunacy of her idea dawned on Jack, his first response was outrage at the idea of being anyone’s example of a practiced seducer.

  But.

  He was not unsympathetic to the vulnerability of young ladies. He and Marcus had, when appropriate, given warnings to their sisters about men they considered nefarious or deceptively charming, and when necessary, they had explained why, in a limited way, of course. Their mother would have been horrified, but considering what Marcus and Jack knew of the world of men, they couldn’t stomach the idea of their sisters being about in Society and vulnerable to—well, practiced seducers.

  Knowledge was power, and they wanted their sisters to have that kind of power. Within reason, of course—neither Marcus nor Jack had ever gone into the kind of detail that would spoil courting or, God forbid, a wedding night.

  Jack glanced across the garden at Annabelle Smith, shy, pretty, innocent, and in possession of a substantial dowry and thus, yes, vulnerable. She had her cousin to look out for her, but even Miss Porter could offer only so much guidance. And she certainly couldn’t offer experience.

  “Very well. We’ll try it.”

  “Oh!” she said, clasping her hands together. “That’s wonderful.”

  “That’s not the word I’d use to describe this undertaking.”

  She tapped her chin with a slender finger. “Of course, you’d first have to get her comfortable, talk to her for a good long while—maybe you could even bore her a bit to take the edge off her panic.”

  “Got it, bore her. I’m glad you think me especially capable of that.”

  “I’m sure you’ll manage beautifully,” she said sweetly. “Then you would move on to the compliments, of course, those being one of the main tricks of crafty gentlemen.”

  He snorted. “I’m guessing you’ve never believed anyone who complimented you.”

  “This isn’t about me. And you’ll want to employ some tasteful strategic touches, if you understand what I mean.”

  “Of course. A fellow such as I knows all about the light touch to the forearm while conjuring a sincere, sensitive, and admiring look.” He managed not to roll his eyes. This sort of behavior was not at all in line with how Jack acted with ladies of any station or age. He despised such tricks. But that didn’t mean he was unaware of them.

  She frowned. “Yes, exactly. I wonder if there’s anything else you ought to do.” Tap, tap went the finger on her chin, drawing Jack’s eyes to her mouth. Her lips looked soft, very soft, and they were such a pretty color.

  Good God, was he really standing here discussing giving a lesson in seduction to an innocent young lady while entertaining decidedly not innocent thoughts about her cousin?

  “I’ll let you know if I think of something.” He pinned her with a hard look. “You will be telling her what’s afoot, or else we risk—”

  “Her falling for your stratagems,” she finished.

  “They’re not my stratagems,” he said tightly. “But the whole point of such behavior, as we’ve discussed, is to beguile innocent young ladies. And Miss Smith being a particularly vulnerable sort...”

  She waved a hand dismissively. “Of course I’ll tell her what I’ve arranged. Now, it would probably be best if you got Lady Alice to invite Annabelle somewhere, say, for a stroll in the park, and then asked to go along.” Her brow wrinkled. “I suppose you might have to explain to Lady Alice what you’re doing as well, since Annabelle will know.”

  He only just managed not to curl his lips in disgust, but the idea of Alice watching him behave like a seducer was stomach-turning, never mind that she would tease him mercilessly. Though, he thought with an inward sigh, maybe it would be instructive for her as well. Or maybe he could arrange it so Alice wouldn’t see.

  Regardless, before he told Alice anything, he was going to swear her to secrecy. He could not have his mother discovering any of this, and it wouldn’t do him any good for his other siblings to know either. Marcus would never, never let him hear the end of it.

  “I’ll explain to Alice and swear her to secrecy,” he said. “I trust you will likewise convey to Annabelle that this little undertaking must be kept secret?”

  She looked offended, as if he’d suggested she was not sensible. Which clearly, considering what she’d just arranged for him to do, she wasn’t, or at least not as sensible as he’d thought her. Though if he mentioned this observation, she would likely argue she was more sensible for arranging this scheme. One thing was certain: Miss Porter was much more devious than he’d thought.

  “Of course,” she said with a sniff.

  Chapter 10

  Mother Superior: People often surprise us.

  Sorella Teresa: Life would be easier if they didn’t.

  Breaking the Habit, Act 2, Scene 1

  Sarah revealed her plan to Annabelle as soon as they got into the carriage to return to Aunt Louise’s. Apparently, it had been too much to hope th
at Annabelle would immediately see the wisdom of Sarah’s idea.

  “You arranged for Lord Jack to do what?” she squeaked, the color draining from her face. “I—I can’t believe you asked him to pretend to seduce me!” she finally managed to say.

  “I know my plan seems bold,” Sarah said, “but if you’ll stop and think for a minute, you’ll see that you have a lot to gain by doing this.”

  “A lot to gain? He’ll think I’m pathetic,” Annabelle moaned. “Surely I am pathetic if I go through with this.”

  “Nonsense, it’s really quite sensible,” Sarah said with brisk cheer. “You’re nervous around gentlemen because you haven’t spent much time around them. You’re aware that some of them might have other interests at heart than your welfare. Lord Jack will give you a chance to practice so you can get some... let’s call it controlled exposure to a gentleman. Then you will have knowledge, and thus confidence!” Sarah finished enthusiastically.

  Annabelle’s eyes narrowed. “You’re awfully excited about this weird idea.”

  “Well, it is my weird idea, so that’s part of it. But I also hate to see you so ill at ease around gentlemen, especially since you so wish to marry.”

  “I do wish to marry,” Annabelle said slowly, which Sarah took as a good sign.

  “And I also feel the need to do something,” Sarah said quietly, “because all my talk of bigamists and practiced seducers only made things harder for you.”

  Annabelle might have blamed her, but she only laughed. “You have got to be the only person in London who spends so much time talking about bigamists and practiced seducers.”

  “Maybe, but other people are surely thinking about them, or at least the possibility of them. I’m sure these topics are in the back of the mind of nearly every matchmaking mama.”

  Annabelle’s expression turned serious. “You’re not a matchmaking mama, Sarah. You’re much too young and pretty to have given up on the chance for marriage. I know you said that you really have no interest in finding a husband, but I don’t see why not.”

  “Oh,” Sarah said lightly, turning to look out the coach window, “I suppose I’ve always thought I would do other things than marry.”

  Annabelle was too kind to see Sarah the way everyone else did—as unmarriageable to anyone worth marrying. Sarah had in the past made a few jokes about her nose with Annabelle, but Annabelle had refused to allow that Sarah’s nose was a blight. After that, Sarah had ceased referring to it, because she wasn’t fishing for compliments, and bemoaning her nose, however wittily, would make Annabelle rush to its defense only because she was nearly incapable of seeing defects in people she loved.

  “Maybe I’ll travel, or teach. I like young people and children.”

  “A lot of times, when women like children, it means they might really like having their own,” Annabelle said dryly.

  When Sarah didn’t say anything, Annabelle said, “Lord Jack seems to think you’re interesting. Why not consider him?”

  Sarah’s head swiveled around. “Lord Jack? Are you out of your mind?”

  “Why not Lord Jack? You two seemed to have quite a bit to say to each other today. And, apparently, he’s not really a horrible, careless rake, since he’s willing to go through with your insane idea to help me.”

  “He is not quite as bad as I originally thought him,” Sarah allowed in the tones of one still reserving judgment.

  “How could he be?” said Annabelle. “He’s Lady Alice’s brother.”

  “Anyway,” Sarah said, not wishing to spend any more time considering Lord Jack, “what do you say? Shall we go through with my plan?” She smiled encouragingly. “After all, what do you have to lose?”

  “My self-respect?” Annabelle said brightly.

  “That’s the spirit.”

  “I don’t think men like spirit very much in a woman,” Annabelle said. “Or at least, that’s what people say.”

  Sarah knew exactly how little some people liked spirit in a woman—it was another reason she didn’t feel tempted by matrimony. But her role was to encourage Annabelle, not make her cynical. “Men are, basically, people.”

  Annabelle giggled. “Basically?”

  “And people,” Sarah said, “whether male or female, who appreciate spirit are the only people worth knowing.”

  Jack supposed the banks of the Serpentine were as good a place as any for this absurd plan of Miss Porter’s. He’d had to tell Alice about the plan, of course, and she had nearly fallen out of her chair laughing when she understood what exactly it entailed. But she’d agreed, even if she was regretful over being sworn to secrecy and “not being able to tell a soul,” as she’d sighed mournfully.

  As they drew near the meeting place that had been arranged, they caught sight of Miss Smith and Miss Porter. The ladies were sitting in the shade of a large tree on the riverbank. While Miss Smith seemed to be weaving some flowers together, Miss Porter, who had taken off her hat and placed it next to her, was leaning back against the tree trunk with her head tipped up and her eyes closed.

  A funny little ping resonated in Jack’s chest at the sight of her.

  “She is quite pretty, Jack.”

  His head whipped toward his sister. Surely she hadn’t been reading his mind? “Who is?”

  “Annabelle Smith, of course,” Alice said. “The young lady you’re here to help.” Her eyes narrowed. “Are you certain this isn’t some elaborate ruse of yours to court her?”

  “Why would I need a ruse to court a woman?”

  “I don’t know, but maybe you would think it more fun that way. Now that Marcus is married and Mother has more time to concentrate on marrying you off, maybe you’re beginning to crack under the pressure.”

  He rolled his eyes. “I’m not beginning to crack under Mother’s pressure. I’m simply doing a favor for Miss Porter.”

  “Of course,” his sister said in that I-don’t-believe-you tone perfected by his siblings.

  “And,” he continued, ignoring her, “you’ve seen how Miss Smith is with gentlemen. She can’t even bring herself to talk to them.”

  Alice sighed. “I know. She has absolutely no idea about gentlemen, and she’s rather afraid of them. As much as I hate to admit you’re right about anything, she is really too sweet to be left to the mercies of the Marriage Mart, even if she does have Miss Porter to watch over her. Miss Porter is formidable, but I’m afraid she’s no match for the wicked ways of men.”

  He looked pointedly down his nose at her. “What do you know about the wicked ways of men?”

  “Only what you and Marcus have told me,” she chirped, “which is rather a good amount.”

  Jack groaned.

  “And,” she said in a pleased tone, “what I’ve gleaned using my own powers of observation. I do have two brothers.”

  The notion of Alice gathering such information did not bear thinking about. “Surely spying is beneath even you.”

  “One does what one must,” she said airily. “Anyway, I suppose you are the perfect person to undertake this scheme.”

  “Oh, and why is that?”

  “Because you’re a sort of bachelor for life.”

  “What is that supposed to mean?” he asked tightly.

  She waved away his tone. “Don’t act so offended. It’s not as if you’ve shown any interest whatsoever in marriage.”

  Jack ground his teeth. Just because he had not rushed off to the altar did not mean he scorned marriage. Far from it. He thought it sounded quite agreeable, with the right woman. But it was annoying that people seemed to think they knew what he wanted—apparently an endless bachelorhood—when he didn’t even know what he wanted.

  The ladies stood as Jack and Alice approached. Miss Smith greeted Alice and turned to him, blinked, and looked down.

  “Good day, ladies,” he said. “Shall we stroll?”

  “By all means,” Miss Porter said. “Annabelle, why don’t you walk with Lord Jack, and I’ll walk with Lady Alice?”

  Jack
and Miss Smith stepped a little in front of the other two and began strolling.

  And then, as instructed, he babbled. About the weather, about a book he’d read recently that he doubted she’d read (was there anything more boring than being recited the plot of a book one hadn’t read?), and which shop on Bond Street was the best for buying gloves. He faced forward as they walked, assuming she would find this less anxiety-making, and when he got to a story about Socrates stealing his best dancing shoes, he was rewarded with what sounded very much like a peep of amusement.

  They walked on, and he talked more, feeling like an extreme bore, not only because of the stupid things he was saying, but also because he was the only one talking. As he plowed through a recitation of his least-favorite foods, he looked at her out of the corner of his eye and was pleased to see that she was yawning. Surely it was a sign of success if she was relaxed enough to be bored by him.

  He dared to ask her a question, but he made sure to continue facing forward as he did so. “Tell me, Miss Smith, do you feel uncomfortable drawing attention to yourself?”

  “Oh,” she said, sounding as if the word had been startled out of her. But then she said, “Well, yes.”

  He rather wanted to cheer. Instead, he behaved as though nothing special had happened. Alice and Miss Porter were a good fifty feet behind them, and he didn’t suppose they could have heard her speak, but he wished they could have so that he could have shot a look of triumph at Miss Porter. Though he supposed she would only smugly point out that the whole thing was her idea and thus most of the success belonged to her. He repressed a chuckle.

  “That sort of discomfort is a sign of a sensitive person,” he told Miss Smith. “May I tell you a secret?” He didn’t wait for her to reply. “Sensitive people are often the best people, because they mind imposing on other people. It doesn’t do to worry too much about what others think, but to have a care about others, well, that is a very good thing.”

  “I...” Miss Smith cleared her throat and dared a sidelong glance in his direction. Jack could feel Miss Porter’s eyes on the back of his neck, their weight doubtless meant to be a reminder that this was all supposed to be done in a correct way, whatever a correct way would be to execute such a lunatic undertaking. “I do rather worry about saying something odd or offensive.”